A quick update and some news...

Holy crap, I'm stressed. 

i'm totally crying na, i'm fine

You all may have noticed I haven't posted a blog article in a while; I thoroughly apologize. Things have been getting SERIOUS, as in, scoping out locations for the store serious. I've fallen in love with store lots only to have my heart shattered (I'm looking at you, beautiful, spacious Pembroke Pines lot next to Whole Foods) when I find out that they weren't available in the first place, and I've been disillusioned with beautiful spaces after looking at the areas they're housed in. Prices are astronomical; I expected this, yes, but what I didn't expect was the crazy shit some plaza owners have been trying to pull. One owner asked for an entire year's rent upfront before he'd rent me anything. WELL GEE, MR. OVERZEALOUS SHOPPING CENTER NAZI, WHY PAY YOU RENT AT ALL?! 

I just have one thing to say to that: 

For those of you not in the know, I am in the middle of opening a tabletop gaming/comic book store. In all other aspects (except financing, which I'm tackling as well) things are coming along swimmingly; good luck has been abundant. I've been able to find almost everything I'm looking for, and even found a beautiful, brand new, remodeled place today--in the heart of Crapville.

it does not resemble this at all

The interior has been newly painted, the ceiling fixtures also painted and fixed, floors brand new and laminated--and for the area, relatively cheap. But the shopping center? Oy vey. Peeling paint, water stains, cracked cement, no-name stores, a rinky-dink car wash tent and an old gas station. Ugh. According to my Twitter followers, they'd still go regardless of the location if the store is good enough; let's hope that I can make that statement true with the various odds and ends I plan on implementing.

In regards to the infamous "How to talk to geek girls" post, it's halfway complete. I'm having a really, really tough time writing it up--I just feel like I'm overgeneralizing women and honestly, how could I possibly pretend to know/feel what every geeky woman in the world does? I could maybe do a post on what I would like in a man (or how I would best respond to come-ons) if people requested that instead. 

Now excuse me while I go hyperventilate and have several small children in the corner. 

Frequently Asked Questions, Volume One

Hey you gurl, yeah you. 

Today is FAQ day, and I've got your questions answered. Chyea. 

Except the stupid sexual ones (you know who you are). Like, seriously, why do men hit on girls on the internet? What, am I gonna mail you my vagina? And even if I were to pay attention to you, do you think you'd get anywhere by being downright crude? Hmph. 

i know. that's what i said.

But anyway, considering the positive feedback on Twitter, I've decided that I will be doing the post on how to talk to women (particularly of the geeky variety) that has been requested. A fair warning though--if you're looking for a guide on how to trick geeky women into sex (as so eloquently phrased by a follower--props, bro), you will be sorely disappointed. That shit DON'T fly at House Paragon. 

If you thought it did:

SO, questions! 

1. What kinds of games do you play?

I have several different genres that I enjoy: Action RPG (Shooter/Sandbox RPGs particularly), RTS (tower defense, wargames too, even though I suck at them), MMORPG, Action/Adventure (particularly stealth), Adventure, Simulations, FPS (occasionally), Rhythm, Puzzle, Educational, and Casual (like mobile games?) if I'm really bored. 

2. What's your favorite game?

The Mass Effect trilogy, hands down. I also deeply care for the Metal Gear series, The Burning Crusade expansion for WoW, Psychonauts, Halo (3 & 4 particularly), Dead Rising, and Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. An honorable mention is Bayonetta. 

3. How long have you been reading/collecting comics?

As far as reading goes, I've been reading comics since I was 12 years old, so effectively, ten years. As far as collecting them, I started recently, around four years ago. 

4. What are your favorite comics?

To be completely honest, I've been won over by Saga by Brian K. Vaughan. Under that one are some tried and true favorites: Wonder Woman, Superman, Uncanny X-Men; and I have a real soft spot for Scott Pilgrim graphics.

5. Favorite comic book character?

Rogue. She's a perfectly complex character, with the wills and wants of any woman her age yet she is barred from the physical world of human contact. Excellent. Also, Rogue is freaking broken, especially after Sage let her recall all of her powers in the X-Treme X-Men story arc. Hello, ownage.

6. What kind of music do you like? 

EDM, 80's nuwave, industrial, darksynth, goth rock, darkwave, and the occasional odd song that catches my fancy (or as another follower put it, stuff with extension cords. Fair enough)

7. Favorite band?

A Perfect Circle. (I know, not any of the genres up there. Go figure)

8. So you're writing a book? What's it about?

Yes, I am--it's my life's project. It concerns a man named Orion who dreams of the pain of humanity on a nightly basis, suffering greatly until his dreams introduce a beautiful, ethereal-looking indigo haired woman. She thankfully offers him respite from the tempestuous horror he usually endures--until one day he finds an abandoned indigo haired baby in an old library, left for him to care for. 

9. How tall are you/how much do you weigh?

Why, are you holding a modeling competition? Better question for you, do you ask the dudebros this too?

10. Can I have your number so we can get to know each other better?

Okay guys, listen. 'Get to know each other better' is fooling no one. I know that means 'Can I flirt with you and slowly progress into inappropriate waters in a non-public environment where I cannot be held accountable for my actions or possibly have my rejection displayed for all to see and/or mock?', and all my friends know this too. Dude, I am on the internet, not your neighbor. I could be a burly dude with a massive cock. Doesn't that scare you?!

TL;DR: No. Stop asking.

11. Do you have Skype/Snapchat/Kik/insert whatever the kids are using to see/touch each other: 

No.

12. Facebook? 

No.

13. Do you have Instagram? Tumblr? A blog? Anything?!

You haven't even bothered to read my Twitter bio, have you? If you're new to the blog and haven't been on my Twitter, then why, yes! I do have all those things! Click here, where my link information is on display for all to enjoy.

14. You're a small business owner? What's your business entail?

I'm the owner of The Paladin's Blade, an upcoming tabletop gaming/comic book store in Miami, FL. The store specializes in tabletop games like Dungeons and Dragons, Warhammer, Magic the Gathering, and more. It's totally great.

you done?

In all honesty though, I sincerely emphasize that I love getting (most of) your questions, and you should never worry about asking them, ever. No, I'm never bothered, and no, it's never creepy. I promise. My followers get to ask me anything so long as it's something they'd ask a dudebro. So yeah, 'What's your bra size?' is not appropriate. If you ask a complete stranger that on the internet, you're gross.

looking away now. 

How to get started reading and collecting comics

 

 sup bby.

Well before I start, I figured I'd mention that I left that publication I was writing for around a week ago. It was a tough decision, but due to the need for change in my personal life I decided to do what was best for me and my family and move on. Luckily, everyone there responded very well and I'm glad to say that things turned out for the better. I'm currently looking for a paid writing position, but until that happens, I'll have to settle in the muggle world and do something less pleasant (and much more boring). Also, I ended up having to go casual in the clan. That was heartbreaking, but at the same time, really necessary as I can't commit to set practice times in my current life schedule. Hopefully one day I'll be able to go back to being an active member, but until then, I'll live vicariously through their forum! But, moving on.

all done with my personal crap no one cares about. here's a chibi hatsune for your trouble

Now, let's talk about comics, shall we?

yes, let's. 

 I've gotten a ton of requests on Twitter asking what comics I read, what sort of genre I'm into, what my favorite heroes are--literally just about the most fun questions I could get. However, totaling more than all of those combined were the direct messages I received on just how to get started reading and collecting comics. I was somewhat surprised, considering there are tons of great resources out there addressing this very question, but I'll try my best to accurately explain how I got started and what I do collect. Also, I'll make a separate Q&A post for my personal comic preferences--I haven't forgotten about that, I promise.

When getting into comics, the best thing to do is follow your own preferences and likes. Ignore the opinions on the web concerning which comics are "good" and which ones are "bad". Your own opinion is king/queen, and whatever you think may be interesting is the best choice. Usually, most people start with the big two: DC and Marvel; and personally, I started off with Marvel via X-Men as a kid. Now that I'm an adult, however,  I much prefer DC comics out of the two. On another note, something that a lot of people take for granted is the plethora of absolutely incredible work by smaller publishing houses with somewhat less pull that is available more than ever before. Independent/smaller publishing offers a great experience in the sense that they have the freedom to really express ideas and story lines that the bigger publishers may consider too much of a risk in today's market. Amazing titles like I, Vampire, Danger Club, Aphrodite IX, Demeter and my absolute personal favorite of all time, Saga, are such amazing treasures just waiting to be read--and almost always ignored by DC/Marvel-heads.

So, where do we start first?

The first thing you should decide is what format you'd like your comics in. Nowadays, digital comics are all the rage, and comics can be purchased with a few taps on a smartphone, tablet, or eReader--this is very popular. The other option should you not have a smart device or prefer not to use one, is the tried and true traditional method of print copy collecting. This can be very rewarding in and of itself, as the actual hunt for the issues (and the care/display/organization of them) is a most enjoyable pastime for most comic book consumers. I, personally, purchase digital copies when I can for portability/time/resilience's sake as well as print copies for my collection that I usually bag and board (more on this in a bit) and put away.

If you choose to purchase your comics digitally, there are a plethora of methods in which to do this. My personal favorite is via a comics app named ComiXology available on iTunes, Android, Kindle Fire, Windows 8, etc. Via this app, you can purchase comics for the same price as in store, download it immediately, and have it saved to a singular account that you can sync to any device you may be using. If you don't have any of the aforementioned devices but still prefer digital, some websites offer digital comic support and offer the option to purchase the comic and download it to your PC or Mac and read it there. Marvel and DC both offer this feature via a built-in ComiXology app in their digital store.

If you choose to purchase print copies of your comics, there are a few steps to take. Firstly, locate your nearest FLCS/LCS (Friendly Local Comic Shop) via Google (or 411 should you find yourself lacking an internet connection) and make the trip. If it's a decently stocked store, you'll see dozens of white boxes with comics inside, usually labeled on the outside by title/publisher. Take your time in perusing the boxes, taking issues out, looking them over (carefully) and deciding what you'd like to purchase (and replacing them in the order in which you found them should you choose not to purchase!). You may get asked if you need help--there's no shame in accepting it! Tell the salesperson you're new and they may be able to help narrow down a good collection of books for you for your first time; or, just as easily don't. Personally, I almost never ask for help in comic book stores as I love going through a store's longboxes (the white boxes used to hold the comic issues).

In choosing comics, a major question usually asked is how to catch up to storylines that are already hundreds of issues ahead of you (like Superman, for instance). In comic books, story lines are divided into story arcs--or, small openings in the story line that give the reader the feeling as though they're starting the story from the beginning. By choosing to start at a more recent story arc, you can collect your favorite character without having to worry about the hundreds of issues previous to today's offerings. Should you want to catch up on the original stories, many comic book stores offer large tomes called omnibuses which package several issues of a certain comic in one volume--such as the Marvel Iron Man Omnibus. If you don't have the time (or cash!) to invest in an omnibus, there are tons of websites offering information on the histories of characters--just make a Google search and you can get caught up in no time.

So, now that you've chosen a comic, how do you protect them? All comic book shops will carry "bags and boards"; literally, a plastic sleeve with a hard sheet of cardboard that you place the comic in (cover facing front, board behind the comic against the back cover). When buying comics at the store, they should already be bagged and boarded, so this shouldn't present an issue. It's good to always have a few extra on hand should you buy a comic at a sale or a convention (two major events you should always take advantage of for excellent pricing--I make a LOT of my purchases there!) that has no bag. To store your comics at home, you can also purchase long/short boxes (those long, rectangular boxes you see at the FLCS) to house your comics in. I keep mine in a specific bookshelf that has space for all my issues; although soon, I'm going to have to start purchasing my own longboxes and make space in my already overflowing closet.

my comic collecting is getting out of control

So, there you have it. Super simple, very easy, and the best part is that comics are cheap. Most issues are priced at a modest $2.99 to $3.99 (depending on the issue/publisher/content/length) and debut with enough time between issues to make sure you always have enough for at least one new comic. There is one note of caution I didn't mention above though: when handling your comics, try to wash your hands before touching the pages, as well as handling the pages as little as possible. On everyone's hands is a thin film of cutaneous oil (skin is naturally greasy) that can stain your comic pages and mess with the delicate ink used to color those gorgeous images we all love. Oil stains can lead to the value of your issue dropping over time, so be careful! Other than that, have fun reading and collecting as many comics as you can. They're excellent fun, good reads, and perfect gifts to hand down to younger siblings, children, or even spouses (if you want to get them into that sort of thing!).

and this is why i collect her. 

go on, try her out. you'll never go back. 

SUPERCON 2013! (Image Heavy Post!)

Hey gurl hey.

there's always that one startled reader

What a weekend! So I finally got around to getting this year's Supercon post up and running. This was my first year at the event (I'm mostly a veteran MegaCon attendee in Orlando) and since I couldn't go there this year, decided I'd give this con a shot. Wow, it did not disappoint. 

early morning before the crowds arrived/all tables were set up

There were cosplayers, celebrities, artists, events, panels galore. I met TONS of great people, and learned about many great geek niche businesses trying to get off the ground (and a few others that are well established but always favorites). We got there nice and early right after doors were open, and immediately headed into the showroom. I will say, since I was there Sunday (the last day) things were considerably cleaned out (but what was left was good and cheap still, so whatever). There were collectible weapons, plushies, figurines, lanyards, pins, patches, miniatures (miniature TARDISes, lightsabers, fezzes, etc.)--literally all the things to make a hardcore fangirl;boy/geek/gamer go wild (and bankrupt). As I was on a hella tight budget, I only got a few things but had a feast of cosplays to photograph: 

Homestuckers

TF2 Scout

furries. 

Princess Bubblegum

Link

Human TARDIS

More Homestuck

Conventions: where you can find pretty girls in pretty kimonos even in the bathroom

John Stewart 

The Wreck-It-Ralph crew

Cutest Princess Peach and Toad!

Psylocke

Black Widow

MOTHERFUCKIN BEETLEJUICE

League of Legends' Vi

You can't see it but Storm's eyes were cloudy and white.

Some Alice in Wonderlanders

Shadow Sora

Final Fantasy cosplayers

Mad Hatter

CUTIE POO HATSUNE MIKU with LEEK!!

Darkstalkers' Felicia

Baby Hulk

Deadpool

Pregnant Daenerys

I know, I know! You want more Supercon goodness.

i am here to serve your pompous, demanding asses.

loljk you guys are the best

Along with the cosplays, I had the pleasure of meeting tons of entrepreneurs that really immersed themselves into the things they loved:

This is Arielle Hill, creator of Drellie Garden at PeachSeas.com. They're basically dragons that take on the appearance of their favorite foods, becoming the cutest fucking little things you have ever seen. I tried to throw money at her but she stayed professional--I on the other hand, melted on the spot. 

This is Comic Nation, run by old friends of yours truly! Imagine my surprise to see them selling the best of the best in comic land? I ended up picking up some great issues with them (some new 52 Wonder Womans and a Green Lantern). Very, very cool. They're con-only at the moment, so keep an eye out!

This was the fantabulous Homestuck booth. Super nice guys, had TONS of great Homestuck merch--but alas, I was Brokesville by that point. Didn't have time for an interview since the Kevin Smith show ran late; what a shame. 

The lovely Sugarfueled art by Michael Banks (and his lovely wife Sarah to the left)! Check out his creepy/flippin' adorable art here.

For some excellent superhero art, check out Danny Haas--his infamous Iron Man piece has been blowing up on the web.

One of my personal favorites ever, Silvertales! She'll be providing art for my upcoming gaming store (updates coming soon on that front) in the next few months, so I'm hella excited for that.

Morgan Wilson, aka Lux Nova on Deviant Art! Another one of my absolute faves, her art is sexy and delightful.

I had originally thought I lost this artist's information but it turned up just as I was the most sad! Her name is Sasha Yosselani, and she has downright incredible work. Her stuff is highly detailed, and I fully recommend a look around her site.

This charming purple haired girl is the creator of Kawaii Universe--a company specializing in the creation of very long lasting, reapplicable kawaii stickers and adorable goods that can liven up any space. Every year I see them at cons and I'm always drawn to their booth. Purchases can be made here, if you're so inclined (their stuff is great quality)!

These gentlemen were representing Prototype PC, where they'll build you the best possible computer for the cheapest price. Here you can get machines to rival Alienware and Razer in performance, without the crazy prices associated with the brand. Here are a couple pics of their handiwork/booth:

These are the Cosplay Medics, a totally cute cosplay ensemble I met at Supercon. They take it upon themselves to help cosplayers with broken or damaged costumes and restore them the best they can! Like a group of Nurse Joys for cosplayers. 

These is our local Ghostbusters squad, the 305 Ghostbusters! They specialize in prop building for aspiring Ghostbuster cosplayers, as well as show up for fundraiser events in full Ghostbuster regalia! Very, very cool; although, apologies to the gent on the left, I wasn't aware he was a part of the 305ers until he approached me with a card after the shot! 

I also met some of my favorite stars:

Walter Emanuel Jones, (aka Zack Taylor from Power Rangers) who looks EXACTLY the same as he did during the show (and called me sexy! omg!).

David Yost (Billy Cranston, the Blue Ranger--and my personal favorite ranger). Super sweet guy.

Richard Horvitz, the voice of Zim from Invader Zim, Daggett from Angry Beavers, Raz from Psychonauts... I could go on all day! He was totally awesome!

I also met Jennifer Hale (and got a picture with her, but I look like flaming baboon ass so I will refrain from exposing you to that) and had a ridiculously long talk with her--almost 30 minutes!! My Mass Effect fangirl self exploded and came back to life (not by Cerberus means this time). I also met Traci Lords, my personal hair idol. Her agent was a douchebag though, so no photos.

There were tons of things to look at around the con, but some of my favorites were:

what i'd give to take home this TARDIS autographed by River Song...

And finally, my highlight of the day was seeing Kevin Smith and Jay Mewes live for their podcast, Why Bry? recorded right there at Supercon! I got to the main stage way earlier (almost three hours!) and caught the Power Rangers 20th Anniversary Panel: 

Only to have the show be delayed by a full hour! But the reason for the delay was Jay Mewes surprise appearance at the show (which, when he walked on stage I damn near freaked out) so I was totally and utterly okay with it. The place was PACKED: 

But, this was my view: 

So yeah, waiting most def paid off. I laughed my ass off listening to these guys, and had an amazing day in total. Will definitely go again next year! Let me know if any of you go and we'll chill at Supercon 2014!

Oh! I almost forgot: for those of you who want to laugh as hard as I did at Jay and Silent Bob's antics, you can listen to Why, Bry? at the SModcast page, listed here!