Hello ladies and gents.
Today's post is both a terrible, tragic one and an amazing, super happy one. I literally had no idea that I could feel soul shattering sadness and unbelievable ecstatic joy at the very same time just 24 hours ago, so bear with me.
Firstly, there has been a death in my family.
At around 3:30 am yesterday, my unofficial brother-in-law (he would have become my official brother-in-law soon enough; he was already mentioning marriage and kids) suffered an aneurysm and collapsed at his friend's house after having watched a movie with a friend and his girlfriend (my sister; they had been dating over a year). He hadn't been feeling well and suffered from headaches for quite some time, but always shrugged them off and refused to see a doctor because he "hated getting check-ups". On the night of his rupture, he had been suffering from a particularly terrible headache when he suddenly felt what we believe is the actual pain of the rupture and told my sister to call an ambulance. Only a few hours later he fell into a coma, and less than eight hours after that was declared brain dead. He was 22.
My sister is doing amazingly well; she's calm, keeping her emotions together, and being strong for his family. I have no idea how she's doing this, considering I can hear it in her voice that she's one memory away from shattering--if I were in her position, I would be inconsolable. Yet, here she is, soldiering on, thinking about all the work than needs to be done before she begins her senior year in high school, wiping away her tears silently. She hasn't left his side since he collapsed--through everything, she has been at the hospital and has slept there the past two nights. She's there now, even though he's already dead, because she won't leave until they finally remove the respirator.
Never in my life have I ever felt grief for someone else hit so close to home. I've wept at national tragedies, wept at the injustices in the world, wept at the abuse that children suffer daily--but this has been something that I just can't even stand to think about. To think that my sister, someone who enjoyed her partner's company so very much, someone who called him her best friend has to deal with the fact that he's dead in such an unceremonious manner breaks my heart. Especially because the situation she's in is my very worst fear. My husband is my best friend, my soulmate. I couldn't bear to live without him.
And yet, she's suffering it, she's living this horror. God, I just can't.
~
But, it's a maddening enough thing that while the world is literally standing on my sister's shoulders right now, life keeps on moving. Today I had a meeting with the real estate agent that would be leasing us the spot for The Paladin's Blade and I couldn't believe I was finally at the point where I could stand inside the space that will be my life's work for the next several years of my life.
I kept staring around at the awful concrete floor and shitty, water stained ceiling tiles; blank, grey walls stared back at me and I felt stifled by the dark, dank atmosphere of an unfinished space--yet, all I could see was our completed store, ready for sales, painted and filled with merchandise, waiting for people to see her in her full glory. I can't contain how excited I am to be putting so much hard work into a tangible, visible reality right now. There is so much ahead of us and yet, I don't feel overwhelmed or burdened; I feel ready.
oh hell yes.
To add to the news, we also received word from our lender that all of the paperwork has been processed and we can officially open our account. Judging by this, I would say that The Paladin's Blade will be open by late September/early October if all goes to plan. The biggest hassle will be setting up our account with the comic book distributors, which take two fucking months to process our order. We're also having a hell of a time with another wholesaler that (due to customer loyalty) doesn't want to let us open our account with them since we are within 20 miles of a competitor that offers their products. FML. Painting, stocking, shelving and all that jazz should take a month at best, and we'll be devoting a week to our special floor endeavor (which will be revealed later... it's going to be badass, I assure you); between all of these little pieces, we'll definitely need a little over 60 days to accomplish everything.
:)
~
(In memory of Orlando Figueredo, 1990-2013)
~
No comments:
Post a Comment